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Post by onlyaworkingtitle on Jun 8, 2011 12:14:57 GMT -5
We're English majors. We tend towards the overactive imaginations. I can't speak for all of us, but I, for one, spend my excess imaginings coming up with crackpot theories (often about professors). For example:
- My older-than-dirt choir professor is a Timelord. Not only is he (as I said) older than dirt, but he a) has more anecdotes from his life than any one lifetime could fit, b) tells very detailed personal stories about Mozart and Bach's childhoods, and c) is a fan of classic BBC. Plus he's the most tech-savvy old person I know. He also looks disturbingly like Aristotle. Conclusion? Obvious.
- My poetry professor is Santa Claus. He has white hair, a beard, and a red sweater that he wears every day (regardless of weather) that's just a bit too short for his stomach. Rosy cheeks, cherry nose, constant grins and chuckles, the whole Night Before Christmas shebang. He also tells stories about his beloved dogs (coughreindeercough) and the only time he's ever lost his temper (at a PETA lady for bitching him out about leaving his dogs/reindeer outside [hitched to a sleigh?] while he was getting milk). He's also just the nicest person ever. Clearly his alter-ego is Saint Nicholas.
I've got heaps more, but let's hear some of yours, hm?
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Post by Dodger Thirteen on Jun 8, 2011 12:19:43 GMT -5
My mentor is Fenrir. Yes, from Norse mythology. She has salt-and-pepper hair that is an exact match for a wolf's coat, insanely bright blue eyes (yes, wolves normally have golden-brown eyes, but GO WITH ME ON THIS), and whenever she grins, it's like a wolf's smile. Considering how much she knows about Norse mythology (she fucking studied at Harvard) and her tricksy attitude, I'm convinced.
My poetry professor is a lioness. Seriously, if you ever met her, you'd think so too. Her features are just way too cat-like to be human.
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Post by onlyaworkingtitle on Jun 8, 2011 12:22:55 GMT -5
My mentor is Fenrir. Yes, from Norse mythology. She has salt-and-pepper hair that is an exact match for a wolf's coat, insanely bright blue eyes (yes, wolves normally have golden-brown eyes, but GO WITH ME ON THIS), and whenever she grins, it's like a wolf's smile. Considering how much she knows about Norse mythology (she fucking studied at Harvard) and her tricksy attitude, I'm convinced. My poetry professor is a lioness. Seriously, if you ever met her, you'd think so too. Her features are just way too cat-like to be human. Huskies have blue eyes, therefore blue-eyed wolves must exist, right? Does your poetry professor have red hair? Purple eyes? A black cat of questionable origin? |
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Post by Dodger Thirteen on Jun 8, 2011 12:27:33 GMT -5
Huskies have blue eyes, therefore blue-eyed wolves must exist, right? Perhaps. I'm unsure, but I swear to the gods that that woman is Fenrir. Does your poetry professor have red hair? Purple eyes? A black cat of questionable origin? *uncontrollable giggling followed by various instances of snorting* |
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Post by Marina on Jun 8, 2011 13:55:08 GMT -5
Does your poetry professor have red hair? Purple eyes? A black cat of questionable origin? *uncontrollable giggling followed by various instances of snorting*[/quote] That would be beyond awesome. I was convinced that my Classics professor was either a spy or some sort of a government agent. He's also one of the luckiest people in the world, oh the stories he's told us. |
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Post by Fuck Yeah Dion on Jun 8, 2011 17:26:06 GMT -5
Man, you guys have really clever and intelligent crackpot theories. I think one of my English professors is an alpaca, but I only realized it when I was drunk.
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Post by ashshields on Jun 14, 2011 5:49:55 GMT -5
The theories my mates and I come up with are usually baseless. But we've decided that our school is run by extra-terrestrials, and we're linking the staff with aliens and the like from Doctor Who. For example, our dean is a Slitheen.
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Post by KatjevanLoon on Jun 14, 2011 7:46:51 GMT -5
insanely bright blue eyes (yes, wolves normally have golden-brown eyes, but GO WITH ME ON THIS), Huskies have blue eyes, therefore blue-eyed wolves must exist, right? Generally I think wolf pups have blue eyes more often than wolf adults; as they grow their eye color goes from blue to that golden-brown color. However, my first dog was half-wolf, with piercing blue eyes, so there's that. |
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Post by Eternal Lobster on Jun 14, 2011 10:25:30 GMT -5
My mentor is Fenrir. Yes, from Norse mythology. She has salt-and-pepper hair that is an exact match for a wolf's coat, insanely bright blue eyes (yes, wolves normally have golden-brown eyes, but GO WITH ME ON THIS), and whenever she grins, it's like a wolf's smile. Considering how much she knows about Norse mythology (she fucking studied at Harvard) and her tricksy attitude, I'm convinced. My poetry professor is a lioness. Seriously, if you ever met her, you'd think so too. Her features are just way too cat-like to be human. And the Canadian professors are the epitome of Canadian-ness. |
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Post by nodeerskulls on Jun 16, 2011 14:43:54 GMT -5
I think my Math teacher is secretly transgendered Severus Snape. You guys should see her - the same expression, the same slimy hair with the same haircut, same piercing stare, condescending glares. She even kind of looks like him. All that wrapped up in a facade of nice. It's unnerving.
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Post by KatjevanLoon on Jun 16, 2011 17:39:39 GMT -5
I think my Math teacher is secretly transgendered Severus Snape. You guys should see her - the same expression, the same slimy hair with the same haircut, same piercing stare, condescending glares. She even kind of looks like him. All that wrapped up in a facade of nice. It's unnerving. I would like to meet your math prof and seduce her. |
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Post by devilishlybookish on Jun 16, 2011 18:06:25 GMT -5
I was so sure one of my tutors in England was a vampire. He was extremely tall, painfully thin to the point where his face was almost skeletal, his hair was always slicked back, and he always wore this belt buckle that had a triad of flying bats on it. Every time he'd walk into the room, he'd pull down the shade on the window where he stood and he NEVER moved from that (safe) dark spot. Even when we had our break between lesson and seminar, he just sat in that dark corner.
...Vampire
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Umbvix
Young Armadillo
SCHLURP :B
Posts: 64
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Post by Umbvix on Jun 16, 2011 18:17:19 GMT -5
I think my Communications professor is really just a student who was majoring in Communications and decided to troll everyone by posing as a professor. She's one of the coolest teachers I've ever had, she looks young, she swears in class, she makes pervy jokes now and then...it's like she's one of us. xD (Not a bad thing, definitely.)
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