Post by Alexi LeRue on May 30, 2011 1:09:36 GMT -5
I would love some feedback on these, I've been writing poetry for a while, now, so I have no idea how I'm doing.
"Thoughts of You":
The mind is a curious thing;
Everything you can think is so tightly bound
Bound by feelings, nerves, and string
And it’s this strange reactive realm
In which my thoughts lithely dwell
But when in the outer world I come across a clue
This realm reacts, a string pulled, and it centers around you
When I write in some far off foreign tongue
I hear your soft voice ringing in my ear
When I listen to music so softly sung
I know a glee so hard to word
That fills my body and soul so swift
As to hear a swan song or some sort of dark lied
Makes me smile; Thoughts of you at my side
When I run my fingers along the spine of a book
And feel raised letters under my lengthly grasp
Why, one could watch and attest I shook
A quiver of sehnsucht that had filled my soul
At the thought of your wisest humor with me
For to touch softest fur or an unmarked page
Reminds me of your purest shape and blessed age
When I breathe in the winds of morning air
I smell the dew, and thoughts of you
Come rushing at me as a river fair
The smell of the rain, or mayhap the sea
To the pine and such of an alpine wood
So natural, and cleansing, or quaintly cold
Reminds me of your heart to which I hold
And to see, oh, to see, what I see!
I cannot describe that which shows
Shows you so elegant in thought to me
The fairest women in the world only pale
To your astounding curving vessel of flesh
The fairest art in this world, or the most carnal dreams
Remind me that none can stand to your radiant beams
"A Letter":
Little sparrow, you knock and peck so softly at the window pane
Your feathers softly ruffle and tussle as you rub against the glass
First morning light fills my den, but shows nothing to be the same
All I ever knew to be fact, a million years in shrouded past
Regret for so much fills a lake in my red coated soul
As I dream in sin, fear twinging within my closed eyes
It eats at me, my breast home to a heart shaped hole
And the only thing I can ease the pain, numbing injected lies
You peck at the latch, and the window gapes wide
With your coming, a chill of morning frost shakes my bones
A macabre glee you show none to see as you glide inside
Your cadence of song and life makes such loving tones
Long ago I lost myself to the wolf’s and hare’s bright lights
Immersed in their faux innocence and steel
But now you so softly land from such great height
And upon my brow you seek to heal
I awaken at your soft landing, first with fear
But then I grinned, a sleepy glee
For when my mind knows you are here
My old self, I slowly start to see
To immortalize your grace and loving ear
I will cling to these words even as I grow
I can safely claim that I hold you dear
And I will always love my dear sparrow.
"Lucidity":
A hyperbolic statement
These little things make me feel alive
A self assigned treatment
These little things don’t make me hide
A god send of sobriety in intoxication
But what to say when god abandons you?
A bliss only maintained in moderation
That falters to damnation whatever you do
To look in a mirror and desire a lie
It’s that sense of reality you fear
I’d rather feel that cold and dry
Reality’s grip to hold me dear
So come lucidity, come clarity, let crippling truth hold me down
And when those little things over take one, I will not let them drown.
"Alone":
I heard you were crying last night
As past and present become one and same
There aren’t enough pieces to make the puzzle right
Life was made as a silly rigged game
An ennui to life as sadness doth grow
I stand at the doorway, roses in hand
I strive to step to find your head hung low
As your heart lies, feeling rejected and banned
It hurts down deep, that lacking of place
But know that there always hands to grasp
Hands to hold you up in that blessed grace
As those memories return to the past
I know it pains to be so all alone
But together we can be anywhere but home.
"Gateways":
All day, I stare off into space
Befallen with voices that echo deep
As I feel the warmth of her grace
And I fall into a deeper sleep
How I was once so fearful
I was a mere shallow step in the pool
So comically bad it could make me tearful
As I pull the thread back onto the spool
Those glorious things, so wide to love
They make my face so christened with a smile
Such a blessing makes me once more question above
And how much I will learn in such a short while
Such are these, lessons of love in this mortal state
As you presence within melts away cobwebs of hate
"Sparrow":
Look, so high in the sky
An orange sky crested by black wings
The crow that takes to fly
A horrid laugh is all it sings
This lonesome fox cracks the brush
Maimed by the maws of the wolf
As I was bitten, there came a hush
As our paths parted us both
Oh, little Sparrow, I hear you overhead
I listen so close, what was that you said
My path has grown so dark
Mocked by crows and lark
And I fear that soon I may lie dead
I come to a clearing where water does flow
A river and branches give life and shade
The suns last light gives that life such glow
Even in night it does not seem to fade
I look to the tree tops, and she sings to me
Little Sparrow, My sparrow, listen so sweet
What it would be to be so free
What it would be for our hearts to meet
Oh, little Sparrow, I hear you overhead
I listen so close, what was that you said
My path has grown so dark
Mocked by crows and lark
And I fear that soon I may lie dead
You come down to me and perch at my side
As I drink and lay at the waters place
I have lost all desire to run or hide
As my breath deepens while you caress my face
The night brings a chilling fear
What for my life, and all that is so
But I know, while you are here
I will never fall while I have my Sparrow
Oh, little Sparrow, I hear you overhead
I listen so close, what was that you said
My path has grown so dark
But you have rekindled my heart
As we lay in this brush, drifting to bed
"___":
The world is a foreign place
To people like you and me
So caught up in common grace
Lashes matted shut so they cannot see
Those who can see, step to the side
So they may look upon the rest
Some stand and die, and some may hide
While others join them and act their best
I wish to take your hand, and show
Show the world as it should appear
Blooming with passion and those who know
Where we can rest and hold dear
Hold all that we find amongst the rest, above
Perhaps some kittens, or something else
Perhaps one of four, some form of love
Passion does bind and in it we melt
Such are these, these waking dreams
But as dreams they fall at a tug at the seams.
A lot/all of these are about my...romantic exploits, but if there's anything I learned from Dead Poet's Society, it's that Poetry was created to woo.
"Thoughts of You":
The mind is a curious thing;
Everything you can think is so tightly bound
Bound by feelings, nerves, and string
And it’s this strange reactive realm
In which my thoughts lithely dwell
But when in the outer world I come across a clue
This realm reacts, a string pulled, and it centers around you
When I write in some far off foreign tongue
I hear your soft voice ringing in my ear
When I listen to music so softly sung
I know a glee so hard to word
That fills my body and soul so swift
As to hear a swan song or some sort of dark lied
Makes me smile; Thoughts of you at my side
When I run my fingers along the spine of a book
And feel raised letters under my lengthly grasp
Why, one could watch and attest I shook
A quiver of sehnsucht that had filled my soul
At the thought of your wisest humor with me
For to touch softest fur or an unmarked page
Reminds me of your purest shape and blessed age
When I breathe in the winds of morning air
I smell the dew, and thoughts of you
Come rushing at me as a river fair
The smell of the rain, or mayhap the sea
To the pine and such of an alpine wood
So natural, and cleansing, or quaintly cold
Reminds me of your heart to which I hold
And to see, oh, to see, what I see!
I cannot describe that which shows
Shows you so elegant in thought to me
The fairest women in the world only pale
To your astounding curving vessel of flesh
The fairest art in this world, or the most carnal dreams
Remind me that none can stand to your radiant beams
"A Letter":
Little sparrow, you knock and peck so softly at the window pane
Your feathers softly ruffle and tussle as you rub against the glass
First morning light fills my den, but shows nothing to be the same
All I ever knew to be fact, a million years in shrouded past
Regret for so much fills a lake in my red coated soul
As I dream in sin, fear twinging within my closed eyes
It eats at me, my breast home to a heart shaped hole
And the only thing I can ease the pain, numbing injected lies
You peck at the latch, and the window gapes wide
With your coming, a chill of morning frost shakes my bones
A macabre glee you show none to see as you glide inside
Your cadence of song and life makes such loving tones
Long ago I lost myself to the wolf’s and hare’s bright lights
Immersed in their faux innocence and steel
But now you so softly land from such great height
And upon my brow you seek to heal
I awaken at your soft landing, first with fear
But then I grinned, a sleepy glee
For when my mind knows you are here
My old self, I slowly start to see
To immortalize your grace and loving ear
I will cling to these words even as I grow
I can safely claim that I hold you dear
And I will always love my dear sparrow.
"Lucidity":
A hyperbolic statement
These little things make me feel alive
A self assigned treatment
These little things don’t make me hide
A god send of sobriety in intoxication
But what to say when god abandons you?
A bliss only maintained in moderation
That falters to damnation whatever you do
To look in a mirror and desire a lie
It’s that sense of reality you fear
I’d rather feel that cold and dry
Reality’s grip to hold me dear
So come lucidity, come clarity, let crippling truth hold me down
And when those little things over take one, I will not let them drown.
"Alone":
I heard you were crying last night
As past and present become one and same
There aren’t enough pieces to make the puzzle right
Life was made as a silly rigged game
An ennui to life as sadness doth grow
I stand at the doorway, roses in hand
I strive to step to find your head hung low
As your heart lies, feeling rejected and banned
It hurts down deep, that lacking of place
But know that there always hands to grasp
Hands to hold you up in that blessed grace
As those memories return to the past
I know it pains to be so all alone
But together we can be anywhere but home.
"Gateways":
All day, I stare off into space
Befallen with voices that echo deep
As I feel the warmth of her grace
And I fall into a deeper sleep
How I was once so fearful
I was a mere shallow step in the pool
So comically bad it could make me tearful
As I pull the thread back onto the spool
Those glorious things, so wide to love
They make my face so christened with a smile
Such a blessing makes me once more question above
And how much I will learn in such a short while
Such are these, lessons of love in this mortal state
As you presence within melts away cobwebs of hate
"Sparrow":
Look, so high in the sky
An orange sky crested by black wings
The crow that takes to fly
A horrid laugh is all it sings
This lonesome fox cracks the brush
Maimed by the maws of the wolf
As I was bitten, there came a hush
As our paths parted us both
Oh, little Sparrow, I hear you overhead
I listen so close, what was that you said
My path has grown so dark
Mocked by crows and lark
And I fear that soon I may lie dead
I come to a clearing where water does flow
A river and branches give life and shade
The suns last light gives that life such glow
Even in night it does not seem to fade
I look to the tree tops, and she sings to me
Little Sparrow, My sparrow, listen so sweet
What it would be to be so free
What it would be for our hearts to meet
Oh, little Sparrow, I hear you overhead
I listen so close, what was that you said
My path has grown so dark
Mocked by crows and lark
And I fear that soon I may lie dead
You come down to me and perch at my side
As I drink and lay at the waters place
I have lost all desire to run or hide
As my breath deepens while you caress my face
The night brings a chilling fear
What for my life, and all that is so
But I know, while you are here
I will never fall while I have my Sparrow
Oh, little Sparrow, I hear you overhead
I listen so close, what was that you said
My path has grown so dark
But you have rekindled my heart
As we lay in this brush, drifting to bed
"___":
The world is a foreign place
To people like you and me
So caught up in common grace
Lashes matted shut so they cannot see
Those who can see, step to the side
So they may look upon the rest
Some stand and die, and some may hide
While others join them and act their best
I wish to take your hand, and show
Show the world as it should appear
Blooming with passion and those who know
Where we can rest and hold dear
Hold all that we find amongst the rest, above
Perhaps some kittens, or something else
Perhaps one of four, some form of love
Passion does bind and in it we melt
Such are these, these waking dreams
But as dreams they fall at a tug at the seams.
A lot/all of these are about my...romantic exploits, but if there's anything I learned from Dead Poet's Society, it's that Poetry was created to woo.
.